When It Doesn't Feel the Way You Thought It Would: Understanding Postpartum Sadness
You looked at your baby and waited to feel the flood of joy everyone promised. Instead, you felt flat. Or tearful, for no clear reason. Or like you were going through the motions of a life you don’t quite recognise as your own right now.
Postpartum sadness is the most talked-about — and still the most misunderstood — part of new motherhood. There’s a real difference between the “baby blues” that pass on their own, and postpartum depression, which doesn’t, and which deserves proper care.
What it is
The “baby blues” are short-lived low mood, tearfulness, and overwhelm that many mothers experience in the first one to two weeks after birth, driven largely by the sharp hormonal drop after delivery. They typically resolve on their own within a couple of weeks.
Postpartum depression (PPD) is different. It’s a persistent low mood, loss of interest or pleasure, deep fatigue beyond normal new-parent tiredness, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and sometimes difficulty bonding with the baby — lasting well beyond two weeks and not resolving on its own. It can begin any time in the first year after birth, and — importantly — it can also begin during pregnancy, not only after.
Neither version means you don’t love your baby, and neither is something you’re supposed to simply push through.
Why it happens
How common is it
The baby blues are extremely common, affecting a large majority of new mothers briefly in the first two weeks. Postpartum depression, the more persistent condition, has been measured in Singapore at rates from roughly 9% — the figure from KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital’s foundational 2011 clinical
study — up to 23.7% in a more recent 2022 KKH survey using a broader screening threshold. KKH itself reported a 78% jump in the number of mothers presenting with postnatal depression or significant adjustment difficulties in the first half of 2023 compared with the same period a year earlier — though
that rise likely also reflects better screening and more mothers coming forward, not just more cases.Regionally, a pooled estimate across Asian countries puts postpartum depression at around 1 in 5 mothers.
However it’s measured, the picture is consistent: this is not an unusual reaction to becoming a mother. It’s one of the most common medical conditions of the postpartum period, and Singapore’s own numbers, whichever study you look at, are trending upward as more mothers get screened.
A note on intrusive thoughts
Low mood can bring its own unwanted visitors: bleak, sudden thoughts or images that arrive uninvited and might go against your core values and beliefs. These are common on their own and not a sign of danger. (More on this in our piece on postpartum anxiety.) The exception is thoughts of harming
yourself or someone else (including your baby), which are different and always worth acting on immediately, as noted below.
When to reach out
Reach out for support if low mood:
- Lasts longer than two weeks
- Doesn’t lift with rest or support
- Comes with loss of interest in things you’d normally enjoy, or difficulty bonding with your baby
- Includes thoughts of hopelessness, or thoughts of harming yourself or others
That last point matters enough to say directly: if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, please reach out immediately to a mental health professional, a trusted person, or a crisis line — you don’t have to carry that alone, and support is available right now.
For everything short of a crisis, postpartum depression is highly treatable with therapy, support, and sometimes medication. Naming it early is often the fastest way through it.
Sources: Chen, H., Wang, J., Ch’ng, Y. C., Mingoo, R., Lee, T., & Ong, J. (2011). Identifying mothers with postpartum depression early: integrating perinatal mental health care into the obstetric setting. ISRN obstetrics and gynecology, 2011, 309189.
https://doi.org/10.5402/2011/309189
Galletta, M. A. K., Hashimoto, A. S., de Almeida Estrambk, G., Verardo, I. P. S., Cantagalli, M. H. I., Peres, S. V., & Francisco, R. P. V. (2026). Prevalence of postpartum depression in the COVID-19 pandemic and associated factors: systematic review and metaanalysis. BMC pregnancy and childbirth, 26(1), 157. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12884-025-08262-z
Quah, P. L., Poo, Z. X., Chen, H. Y., Chua, T. E., Tan, L. K., & Tan, K. H. (2025). Perinatal mental health in Singapore-prevalence, knowledge, attitudes, and practices. Frontiers in medicine, 12, 1623596.
https://doi.org/10.3389/fmed.2025.1623596
Teo, J. (2023, December 12). Don’t dismiss signs of postnatal depression as weakness: Doctors. The Straits Times.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/health/don-t-dismiss-signs-of-postnataldepression-as-weakness-doctors
This article discusses postpartum depression and, briefly, thoughts of self-harm. If you are personally struggling with this, please see the resources linked below or reach out to a mental health professional.